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secretly_distorted
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Name: Elizabeth
Birthday: 10/11/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Reading, cooking, sleeping, perfection, sit-ups, school, coffee, fasts, emaciation.
Expertise: Failing at perfection.
I don't own a scale, so this is all I have:
Height: 175 cm ( 5'9")
Waist: 61 cm (24 in)
Hips: 85 cm (33 in)
Chest: 81 cm (32 in)
CW: ~115
GW: 0
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  adoreperfection
Member Since:
1/1/2006
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| NEW SITE
ASK AND I WILL TELL
Love,
Elizabeth
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| "Emaciation"
I rather like that word.
I seem to reside solely in my head lately. It is surprising to me that
anyone else can even see me, let alone speak to me.
A ghostof a girl.
This afternoon, I was forced to attend a potluck at the pool for
Memorial Day (for which I baked a lovely cake). And thus the swim team
season has begun.
I don't think I have yet seriously considered the predicament that
having swim practice each day will cause. It will not strip my fasts
entirely from me. I know this much, for I will not allow for that.
Fasting today. 45 hours now.
I figured that because I do not have a scale, I should at least take
measurements of myself, as to record progress (or lack thereof)
Height: 175 cm ( 5'9")
Waist: 61 cm (24 in)
Hips: 85 cm (33 in)
Chest: 81 cm (32 in)
I don't really know what those numbers mean, but I suppose I will know what it means when they lower.
Take care,
Elizabeth
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I lead a double life.
There are so many things that consume me that I have never actually
spoken. I have never, for instance, said the words: "I have an eating
disorder" aloud. Never can I discuss my issues with another person,
face to face.
Instead I, like so many of you, am forced to appear a completely different person on the outside than I am internally.
You have no idea how much I rely on all of you.
I can only be me here.
I am fasting today, and will continue it until at least Tuesday afternoon.
Swim practice is resuming then, but I will only eat if it is absolutely necessary.
So far, I have only done about an hour's worth of exercise (while watching cooking shows, nonetheless). I plan to do more later.
Currently I am working on an essay, but I had to take a break because I
seem to have developed a case of either writer's block or boredom.
Edit: I walked for a bit. Sorry that it's not very noteworthy.
Take care
~Elizabeth~
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There is my dress.
God, my thighs are huge. Not to mention my arms and stomach.
I couldn't fast today, because I decided to appease my parents by eating.
Hopefully.
Therefore the fast is starting, I suppose, now. I may eat on Tuesday for swim practice, unless I am feeling well enough to swim.
I have been watching cooking shows on PBS all day. It is so ironic that
I love cooking so much. On Wednesday, I will be making fruit tarts for
a party at school. I'm excited about making them, even though I wont
eat any.
I must write an english essay now.
Take care
Elizabeth
oXo
I just bought that online, and in extra small. I am regretting
the latter a bit, as I am obviously much to large for an xs. I guess
I'll have to make it fit.
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| Fast ended this morning at 103 hours.
The trip was okay, I guess. As okay as a park filled with the smells of funnel cake and sights of obese people can be.
I did successfully smuggle in my salad, which I ate at lunch while my friends devoured their pizza.
My total intake was roughly 400 calories. I am feeling rather bloated
at the moment, and I am not sure if it is because of the food or the
fact that I just drank a lot of water.
I think I will fast from tomorrow until Tuesday before swim practice. 89 hours, perhaps.
Wednesday, we have a party in one of my classes, and then I have to go
to this awards ceremony. I think I will be cooking for that day, but
not eating.
I did buy a lovely dress today for the ceremony. I may just post some pictures tomorrow.
SAT next Saturday!
Take care
Elizabeth
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